Monday, June 11, 2012

The Hazards of Chipmunk Love

Alvin and the gang are at it again.  Seeing as they've never recorded anything original, they've sunk to the lowest conceivable level and are covering Decemberists tunes.  But after years of drugs, alcoholism and bad blood, their professionalism is beginning to wane.

Don't let the title scare you off, imaginary reader:  This isn't a song about Richard Gere, or Richard Simmons, or Gene Simmons, or Gene Shalit, or Chaka Khan, or any of those guys.  It's all very straightforward drunk chipmunk stuff, and no one's fucking any animals unless you count the fact that the song is originally about a lady fucking a goat.  Technically, he's only half goat, but if you're daughter is fucking a guy that's half goat and half black, even the most racist, hate-filled colostomy bag in the world is going to object to the goat part.

That's OK, in another one of their songs a guy fucks a bird, so I guess that's just their thing.  Evidently, when you're listening to the Decemberists, it is inevitable that Colin Meloy is going to wax poetic about schtupping livestock and critters from the wetlands.

This whole article exists for the sole purpose of propping up my shitty video

I think this is really going to help narrow down my target audience.  Generally speaking, My work is too profane for children, and too silly for adults.  Most of my hits are coming from people searching some combination of the words "rape" and "van".  The rest of my hits are coming from people who are looking for proof that Scott Meisterheim is a Psychopath.

Once you factor out the readers I've alienated so far, all that's left are people with an unhealthy interest in psychopathy, and rape vans.  I figure, by adding a post about squirrels singing about a woman fucking a goat - I'll be able to ensure that anyone still visiting my weblog, while probably a psychopathic rapist with spacious ride, is into 'advanced animal husbandry', and thus unlikely to abduct me for an evening of duct tape and romance.

1 comment:

  1. Another winning article! Loved the video. No I am not your mother.


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