Saturday, August 25, 2012

The White American Heterosexual Christian Conservative Victim Complex.

I try to stay out of politics.  On Facebook I've had to ignore almost everyone I know because of the endless reams of propaganda that were flooding into my news feed.  Everyone thinks they're evangelizing the 'one true ideology', but as is my stance with religion, I'm not really in the market for an ideology, and I don't care too deeply about yours.  I do, however, feel compelled to address at least a small portion of that bullshit before I go back to writing articles about rape vans and semi-professional flid kicking...

It seems like people are less willing to say nice things about our president today.  Certainly part of that can be attributed to his lackluster performance over the last few years, but even amongt his strongest supporters (black people, and guilty trust fund whites) there seems to be a reluctance to sing his praises.  I think part of the reason there is so little vocal support of our current president, is the fact that it's been an endless argument from day one.  In a way, the worst thing that could have happened for the GOP was for Obama to positively perceived in any way.  I believe that they've done everything in their power to sabotage America since Obama got into office.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not a shill for this guy.  To be honest I don't think the big O is the best man for the job (Hillary is clearly the better man).  I think that Obama could have accomplished more with his time in office.  There are legitimate causes for criticism.

To make matters worse, the entire Democratic Party's media platform has done nothing but alienate me in recent years.  All this touchy-feely, nanny-state, race-baiting, feel-good for doing nothing, pansexual Earth-love pandering is sickening to me.  I understand that they are fighting dirty pool with dirty pool, but it has diminished the core ideology.

"Name one example,"  Whines the nearest Far-Left, bleeding-heart echo unit.

The fact that anyone thinks they know whether or not George Zimmerman is guilty is a perfect example of the deleterious effect of biased media outlets in journalism (i.e. MSNBC and FOX NEWS).  These two media outlets set the entire tone of the conversation, preventing any rational discussion of facts.  And it's not just anyone that think's they know - it's everyone.  People in fucking Wisconsin are certain of Zimmerman's guilt or innocence.

The Liberals are utterly convinced that this is yet another example of a black person being victimized.  Zimmerman rolled out of bed one day and said 'I have just GOT to kill me a nigger today - The younger the better'.  Probably after a night of reading Mein Kampf and stroking his gun in a manner that, for lack of a more disturbing word, could only be described as masturbatory.

Meanwhile, The Conservatives are certain that Zimmerman was acting in brave defense of his neighborhood.  While Treyvon Martin was wreaking havoc throughout this idyllic community, smoking crack, selling drugs, and intimidating the townspeople, running around in his 'thug life' hood, sporting his ill gotten 'bling', and blasting gangster rap about butt-raping white toddlers.

The reality is, if you weren't there, you can't be certain.  Any evidence you've seen on 'the news' is worth precisely dick.  The news stations are selling you the story you want to hear.  Otherwise, all the news stations would be reporting the same story (note: they are not).  Both of these accounts are based on cartoon characters.  The oppressed hero, and the dastardly villain with an agenda.  It's such an effective schema, that in your head, you've probably already assigned one of them to the hero role and the other to the villain role when, in fact, it can read either way.  The fact that the assessment of guilt or innocence splits down party lines is the first clue that no one is being objective about this.

Has Barack Obama exploited this and other events for his own political standing?  You'd better believe it.  B.O. will attach his face and name to any hot cause involving a perceived underdog victim.  And if he can remind everyone that he's black in the process, that's going to happen as well.  To be fair, though, every modern era president has been guilty of leveraging the media.  That's the game, and it's our fault as a society for buying into this horseshit.

Fig. 1: "Heh - I personally saw to it that this mission was accomplerated."

Barack Obama is not the worst president we've had in the last 10 years.  He's a clear and obvious improvement over the last guy.  Hell, some of our allies are even speaking to us again.  It is irritating to me that he can't say or do anything that isn't pounced upon by detractors.  Anything.  He can't hug his damn kids without some analyst accusing him of pandering or calculating, or being a Muslim or a Marxist zombie or whatever.  Again, and I can't stress this enough, there are legitimate reasons to criticize Barack Obama.  Socialist is not one of them.  Neither is African, Muslim, or non-American.  Yet those have been the rallying cries.  Ignoring the real problems, in order to invent pretend ones that sound worse.

It is intellectually dishonest to disagree with absolutely everything someone else does.  It's just not possible.  There have to be a few things you agree on.  We all like good things, like puppies.  And we all dislike bad things, like puppy rapists.  It's a bit demagogic, but it's a start.  The only way to systematically disagree with absolutely everything someone says, is to behave like a child and refuse to agree even when you actually agree, on the basis that you are unwilling to give ground.

There must have been some common ground that we could have worked on in the last 4 years.  Instead, everyone in congress - BOTH SIDES - intentionally put up bills that they knew could never pass.  Focusing on heavily contested issues so that in the election to come they could blast their opponents for blocking the most polarizing issues.  Instead, they could have tabled the things they don't agree on, and worked together on less contested but equally important issues.

Ever since the day after the last election, it has been impossible to discuss policy, because everyone jumps straight to calling each other fascists and socialists.  The evolution of the discussion makes it clear that much of this stems from racism (though the language that racism is couched in is constantly evolving).  Indeed, one of the first conversations I had about the new president 3 years ago involved a disappointed conservative vociferously trying to convince me that "Obama is a Nigger"

He seemed to think that this appeal was somehow helping his case.

Before you suggest that this was an isolated incident, let me assure you it was not.  Increasingly overt racism become a common undercurrent which I have witnessed firsthand countless times in the last few years.

They are stirring up the old prejudices to poison the populace against this president.  This is disappointing to me, but the bigger problem is that the cat's out of the bag now.  There's no going back.  Hate as an instrument of political propaganda will never go away without revolutionary change.  Civility is done for.  Neither side can afford to de-weaponize their campaigns, because the methods are effective.  Furthermore, any sort of de-escalation would be read by voters as a sign of weakness.

The trick now is to go on the offensive, slandering your opponent for running a negative campaign.  No one really wants to talk policy, because Americans are too stupid for lengthy and serious discussions of policy and hard numbers.

Just ask the last guy that tried it.

As a result, we now have politicians stumping from town to town with speeches and soundbites that equate to "My cock-sucking opponent has run an unprovokedly negative campaign from day one - but we're taking the high road and sticking to the issues - instead of the Socialist, Anti-American, faggoty rhetoric of my esteemed opponent."

If only I could find an example of this shit from facebook...

Fig. 2:  Some possible captions for this image:  
1.  'Faggoty rhetoric' in this case is women, minorities, the middle class, and the needy.  
2.  This image is so meta that my ears are bleeding.
3.  OK.  What would you like to say about the economy?
4.  Dance, Bojangles!

Which brings me back to my original point.  People have stopped speaking in favor of the current president largely because we're tired of hearing the same old worn out and irrelevant arguments.  Birth certificates, and bowing to the Saudi King, and taking away your guns, and whatever...  It's a campaign of suppression, and unfortunately it's working.  I'm tired of the empty bickering.  I'm tired of hearing the exact same arguments formed in the exact same words coming from the mouths of thousands of different people.

It's not that I expect or even want everyone to agree with me.  I just want them to take the time to develop and present an opinion of their own.  Something that wasn't fed to them by Glenn Beck or Rachael Maddow.  It is possible to discuss and disagree without resorting to childish namecalling.  Different arguments might have competing merits - It is not always all or nothing.  One's opinions on gun control need have no bearing or relationship to their opinion on birth control.  There are more than two (or even three) possible political ideologies.  The goal of the discussion isn't to win the argument, but to learn from others and build your own ideology.

I'm seeing a lot of this 'White American Heterosexual Christian Conservative Victim Complex.'  These guys that think Christians are under siege, Christmas is under attack, marriage is being sexually assaulted by the fags, and white middle to upper class males are being marginalized and victimized - strapped down with chains and tied to the yoke of carrying the lazy, unwashed underclasses - all of it orchestrated by Obama somehow.  America itself is being taken from the honest hardworking (IE white protestant conservative heterosexual) man.  If you were to listen to these stories, you'd think that Obama is riding from town to town persecuting Christians and Soldiers and throwing money he personally stole from orphanages at the bastard abortions of slutty women.  He's like all four horsemen, rolled into one.

I have a friend who blames Obama for someone being arrested over municipal building code violations in Phoenix.  You see, he thinks Obama is involved because this guy in phoenix is trying to run a church.  The fact that he's been ducking municipal code for years somehow has nothing to do with it.  Instead, the story goes, Obama personally wants to destroy this guy's church, because it's a Christian church.  And you know how Obama hates Christian churches (Well, except when he's attending that one church with the racist pastor...  Then he's a died in the wool, lifelong Baptist)

Like Obama rolled into fuckin' Phoenix so he could enforce building codes.  He just...  Couldn't possibly have that kind of time, right?  I don't have that kind of time, and I'm not even the president.

I hear this preposterous nonsense, and...

                              I JuSt...

                                     i jUsT FuCKnG...

                                           I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO --

Fig. 3:  My head a splode.

As an atheist, let me assure you that Christianity is alive and well in America.  It's the most embarrassing thing about this country, and I wish you would all shut up about it.  If you don't believe me, head out to Missouri sometime.  It's Jesus like a motherfucker out in Missouri.  Those guys aren't being persecuted - certainly not personally persecuted by Obama himself.

Having so much money that you get bumped into a higher tax bracket is a kind of oppression now!?!  Being a member of the comfortable default is a form of being marginalized?  Putting an end to policies of subjugation somehow makes you a victim?

Move over Kunte Kinte, A well-off white guy might have to share his part of suburbia with a black, or some queers.  Or maybe some Black Muslim Queers.  Just a whole gaggle of successful, gay married, black muslim queers stealing his jobs, right there in the middle of Wisteria Lane - faggoting up the whole neighborhood.  Oh, the humanity!  That everything the REAL AMERICANS (read: White Americans) have worked so hard to build would be ruined by these invaders.  Just by moving in they're ruining the property value!  By moving in, they're essentially STEALING the money those poor unfortunate rich white folks have poured into their homes...  It's outright SOCIALISM, and it's ruining America!!!

Give me a fucking break with this shit.

I've been trying not to argue online so much.  I feel it makes me a worse person to engage this behavior.  I'm making an active effort to be civil.  It's not easy, because no one else is trying to be civil.  Avoiding politics on Facebook is like trying to avoid raindrops in a storm.  I've got friends and family who are essentially calling me stupid by proxy every day now with their posts.  It leads me to wonder whether or not I really need friends and family like that.  Were I to return their kindness, many of them would answer that question for me preemptively.

It doesn't have to be like this.  There was a time when there was at least some degree of civility in politics.  Consider the Carter / Reagan debate.  Seriously - watch like 5 minutes of that shit, more if you've got the time.

Certainly they disagreed on a great many points, and I doubt there was much love between them but the manifestation of that disagreement was a pointed but civil discussion of specific policies and issues.  There was no slander, no accusations, and relatively little grandstanding - at least by today's standards.  An hour and a half of pure on-target political debate.

Putting all politics aside, these were both good guys.  I believe that as presidents, both acted in good faith to do what they felt was right for the country.  It's almost like there wasn't a wrong choice.  Just two good choices.

The ultimate irony of all this, is that if it wasn't for all of these layers of over-the-top right wing Anti-Obama rhetoric I'd be the first guy in line to criticize his policies and results.  Instead, the issue has become so forced that there is no avoiding it.  I am presented with the option of supporting an ineffective president, or agreeing with the party that desperately wants you to know that Barack Obama is a Muslim, an African, a Socialist, and a Nigger.

Fig. 4:  If you are white, you should feel embarrassed when you see this.

There's a concept in psychology called heuristics.  Heuristics are basically experience-based shortcuts for solving problems.  You make so many decisions in any given day that if you had to fully reason each one out, you'd never get out the door in the morning.  An example of a heuristic that everyone learns early on: 'Things that smell bad also taste bad'.  That's why you don't have to drink milk that smells bad - you just throw it away.

This is a form of the contagion heuristic.  Put simply, You tend to avoid stuff that is associated with something bad.  For example, you would probably be reluctant to wear a jacket that a homeless wino died in.  Even if it were spotlessly cleaned and pressed, the inherent 'dead hobo-ness' persists in your mind.

It is an extension of this heuristic that forces my hand.  The intensity of the hate and negativity of conservative media and base over the last 4 years utterly contaminates every other aspect of the conservative platform.

Do I think we should find ways to cut spending?  Yes.
Do I think that we're wasting money on education?  Yes, but that's a different article.
Do I value the freedom of the individual?  Yes.
Do I support gun ownership?  Yes.
Do I support the ownership of assault rifles?  Yes.
Do I support the ownership of fully automatic weapons?  Yes.
Do I support the private ownership of 15 inch battleship cannons in the front yard?  Yes.
Am I inherently distrustful of oversized government?  Yes.
Do I believe in enforcing the borders?  Yes, with provisions for seasonal and migrant workers.
Do I believe in considering the human cost before enacting ecological protections?  Yes.

When I say that I'm going to end up voting for Barack Obama, that's not an endorsement - it's a resignation.  I was given no other choice.

Fig. 5:  It's a false dilemma.  Turn around.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Commercials That Suck Part 2

You might be wondering about the odd title of this post.  I assure you that there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.  At any given time I have 4 or 5 articles in development, and in this case, there's already a Commercials That Suck Part 1.  I could rename the other article, but it's really the anchor of the series.  That said, this idea stands independently of the other article, so I didn't particularly want to leave it languishing in development hell, simply because the first one isn't finished just yet - potentially forcing me to crank out sloppier than usual work on the first article just so it wouldn't be holding this article up.

So I'm starting with the second in the series, and I'll follow it up with the first in the series out of sequence as time and development allow.  I can't seem to remember how that's worked out in the past for other people, starting halfway through a series and then going back to the beginning...


I just saw a commercial for Flintstones vitamins.  They are still claiming to be "ten million strong, and growing" Problem is, that's been their tagline since 1987.  By their count, they haven't grown at all.  I'm not sure what polling method they're using to come up with their figures, but I can guarantee that they are within the margin of error for actually shrinking slightly.

It's worse than that though, because what they aren't telling you is that they have failed to keep up with world population growth. There are 2 billion more people on the planet today than there were in 1987 -- So while 10,000,000 Flintstones Kids represented 0.2% of the global population in 1987, they have diminished to only 0.14% of the global population in 2012 - making them a rapidly receding, and ultimately doomed demographic.

So I'm proposing a new, more accurate jingle.

Pretty soon they'll be allowed to open casinos and sell illegal fireworks.