Friday, August 24, 2012

Commercials That Suck Part 2

You might be wondering about the odd title of this post.  I assure you that there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.  At any given time I have 4 or 5 articles in development, and in this case, there's already a Commercials That Suck Part 1.  I could rename the other article, but it's really the anchor of the series.  That said, this idea stands independently of the other article, so I didn't particularly want to leave it languishing in development hell, simply because the first one isn't finished just yet - potentially forcing me to crank out sloppier than usual work on the first article just so it wouldn't be holding this article up.

So I'm starting with the second in the series, and I'll follow it up with the first in the series out of sequence as time and development allow.  I can't seem to remember how that's worked out in the past for other people, starting halfway through a series and then going back to the beginning...


I just saw a commercial for Flintstones vitamins.  They are still claiming to be "ten million strong, and growing" Problem is, that's been their tagline since 1987.  By their count, they haven't grown at all.  I'm not sure what polling method they're using to come up with their figures, but I can guarantee that they are within the margin of error for actually shrinking slightly.

It's worse than that though, because what they aren't telling you is that they have failed to keep up with world population growth. There are 2 billion more people on the planet today than there were in 1987 -- So while 10,000,000 Flintstones Kids represented 0.2% of the global population in 1987, they have diminished to only 0.14% of the global population in 2012 - making them a rapidly receding, and ultimately doomed demographic.

So I'm proposing a new, more accurate jingle.

Pretty soon they'll be allowed to open casinos and sell illegal fireworks.

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